Friday, February 8, 2008

Amazing Grace

My Friend's Mom died yesterday.
Actually, she died in her sleep, at the age of 104, the night before last.
I knew about it because I read her daugher's blog yesterday morning, but I faced a day filled with Dr.s appointments for my own Mom who will soon be 95, my DH, and myself.
I didn't call my friend because I knew she must have been up all night and even in the best of times, she's a night owl who stays up much later and sleeps later than I do.

I had to get started early with the round of appointments, so as is my wont, I compartmentalized the sad news. Between the time I arrived home from my last appointment and the time I had to take my Mom to an evening class, my friend called me. "I'm touching base," she said in a grief stricken voice.
I expressed my concdolences, and we chatted a moment.

This morning I woke overome by sadness for my friends loss.

I was priviliged to meet my friend's Mom several times, but the time I remember best was in the emergency room of the local hospital.

Another friend had called me. She'd been recently diagnosed as diabetic and was trying to regulate her insulin dosage.
"My sugar's at 60," she said, "I think that's pretty low."
"Eat, eat, eat, we're on our way!" I instructed.

At the ER, we found my friend and her Mom. Her Mom was 101 then, still beautiful, and trying er best to understand why other patiernts were being taken before her.
As it turned out, she was already designated to be kept over night, but there was no bed

available for her. There she was, one hundred and one years old, sitting in a wheel chair at 11:00 at night with a leg that pained her, and yet others, come lately others like my diabetic friend, were being taken back to the beds in the ER.

Now this is the important part, I heard her explaining to herself why others took presidence over herself. As they whisked someone away to obviously more comfortable and peaceful environs, she would say,quietly to herself, something about that person needing immediate attention and care more than she did. She said those things, not sarcastically, resentfully,or self-servingly, but as though telling herself that it was right and just and that she just needed patience. She didn't complain, howl or demand. She endured....with the most Amazing Grace, and that is what I will never forget.

When they finally found a bed for her, I was able to chat with her for a minute and I'll always consider it an honor that she remembered me at her next birthday party, her one hundred and second.

She was a great and gracious lady who epitimized the Greatest Generation. With her passing we are all bereft, but none so much as my dear frined, her Daughter and her family.
I am so sorry and so saddened for them.

9 comments:

givethemhell said...

I am very sorry that your friend lost her mother at 102. This must be a very sad time for her, and for you too, having been so close to her mum. My condolences to you and your friend's family ...

Chris Eldin said...

I am very sorry your loss. Your post is a moving tribute to her.

I do not have a relationship with my own mother. A friend's mother sortof adopted me along the way. I love her so. I need to call her.

Chris Eldin said...

Oh, sorry for my avatar, especially on a post like this.
I explain it on my blog.

Mary Beth said...

I am very sorry for you and for your friend. I was just wondering to myself - is it worse to lose your mother early when you don't know her very well or is it worse to lose her later when you've built such a friendship, and with that bond, losing so much more than just a mother figure? There are so many bloggers that don't have a good relationship with their families and I hurt for them knowing what an integral piece of my life my family is. I realize they have different lives because of their circumstances, but please, let me keep my mother for as long as possible.

Does the amazing grace come with having lived for so long? I know there are some who will never have it but is it something we can aspire to as our chronological ages increase? I wonder and hope that it is so.

Jan said...

A beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman, She. And she must have been truly wonderful.

Linda G. said...

Thanks, Giv'em:)

Thanks for stopping by Christine, and for your comment. It's always nice to see you here:)

Mary Beth, I think it's lovely to have your Mom as long as possible, even if your relationship isn't perfect. You are blessed with a close family as I am, and it's fun for me to visit your blog and read about your family gatherings.
I don't know how one comes to a state of Grace. I hope I will, but haven't managed it yet!

Thanks Jan:)

Akasha Savage. said...

What a lovely blog for an obviously lovely lady. My thoughts go out to you at this sad time.

photowannabe said...

That is such a lovely tribute and a very special memory for you. Its times like these that I am so thankful for my family and their loving care.

Granny J said...

Thank you for a lovely post about Mom.